You may then choose a partner who is aloof or distant.
It isn’t always easy to see when we have our defenses up.
As a result, we tend to blame our singleness on external forces and fail to recognize that we aren’t as open as we think.2) Unhealthy Attractions When we act on our defenses, we tend to choose less-than-ideal relationship partners.
The point of this article isn’t to stereotype all single women or men or to put anyone in a box.
However, for people, particularly those over 30, who are looking for answers to the puzzling question “why am I still single?
Many women start to have thoughts like, “There are no decent men out there” or “All the good ones are taken.” Men may have thoughts like, “You can’t trust a women” or “Women are all out to take advantage of you.” We may have unrealistic expectations for a partner or pinpoint weaknesses from the moment we meet someone.
When viewing the world from critical or distrusting eyes, we tend to write off a range of potential partners before even giving them a chance.
Many people have an unconscious motivation to seek out relationships that reinforce critical thoughts they have long had toward themselves and replay negative aspects of their childhoods.